Today was the second national house party thrown by the Humane Society’s Legislative Fund, to address the welfare of farm animals. Because nothing says “PAR-TAY!” like a frank discussion of the cruelty of battery cages, gestation crates and veal fattening pens.

It wasn't actually one huge, national house party, in a really, really, big house, but rather a vast number of normal-sized house parties taking place across the nation simultaneously. The participants were Humane Society members and compassionate folk, cheekily dubbed Party Animals (get it? Party Animals? GET IT!). The party I attended had an amazing feast of vegan Thai food and someone brought a pet lizard, which they called a "dragon", so who knows, maybe it was.

It was all coordinated by the HS website, who sent out mass emails from HS president Mark Markarian, inviting people to visit the site and find or host a party in their area:

At the party, you'll be able to participate in a nationwide conference call at 7:30 p.m. Eastern time. Joining me on the call will be U.S. Senator Robert C. Byrd (D-WV), U.S. Representative Gary Ackerman (D-NY), and Grammy-nominated musician and passionate animal advocate Moby.

Turns out he should have put 'participate' in quotes - I screamed “I LOVE YOU MOBY!!!” several times and he didn’t respond.

Afterwards, we heard from a group of actual party animals from the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity, who lectured on the benefits of using tofu goats for freshmen to copulate with in hazing rituals.

"Party Animal" House Parties to Highlight Need for Farm Animal Welfare Regulations (HSUS)