It was announced today that the Bush administration, while staunchly refusing to acknowledge the threat of global warming, has taken steps towards listing polar bears on the endangered species list. It seems polar bears, other than the ones living on the “Lost” island for some goddamn reason, are dying in record numbers as their habitat literally and figuratively melts away. Well, not really figuratively. Just literally.
Since global warming is a completely theoretical problem with no real-world evidence or proof, the Bush administration should have a fun time explaining the haggard, gaunt, sweaty, delirious bears wandering dazed and mumbling distractedly, “Water… water… ice water…” Must be a steady slide into drugs and addiction following their sudden rise to fame through national Coca-cola spots.