Global Green held a literal green carpet soiree at the Henry Fonda Music Box Theatre on Friday night to raise ecological awareness. Mixed in with the velvet ropes, hefty bouncers and pricey mojitos that typify a night out for Lala’s elite, where Hollywood wannabes mingle with Hollywood be’s, were sponsors hawking ecological wares such as plastic bottles made from corn and houses of recycled Styrofoam. A woman from Clean and Green waited patiently while I delicately wrapped my mojitoed brain around the concept of buying credits for wind power on the energy grid to offset your old-fashioned fossil fuel consumption.

Hollywood’s rich, well-dressed and, most importantly, beautiful were treated to a microcosm of the world’s environmental ills. Overpopulation made it extremely difficult to move from one end of the room to the other, the air quality was polluted with the ever-present smell of various kinds of herbal cigarettes, and the politely head-bobbing audience was plunged into riot when insane funkadelics Fishbone leaped off the stage and started a full-on mosh pit. It was like seeing the crowd at a Bonnie Raitt concert suddenly and unexpectedly teleported to a Pantera show. Which is pretty funny to watch, for the record.

Liz Phair played the strangest guitar I’ve ever seen – basically just the outline of a guitar, with a fretboard attached – perhaps drawing attention to the inherent waste in most guitar designs. There was a vodka bar carved entirely out of ice, and therefore biodegradable. And in a powerful bid for recycling, celebrity Corey Feldman was plucked from the Hollywood landfill to lurk about in a Fedora.

Green Carpet Oscar Party (Global Green)