Ken Lay, Enron founder and energy giant, died yesterday of heart failure while awaiting sentencing for his role in Enron’s bankruptcy freefall. In a final bid to demonstrate his commitment to energy conservation, Lay’s heart chose its eternal Christian reward over decades in prison for fraud and conspiracy. While the average American uses only 11,000 kilowatts per year, Lay needed slightly more for his electronic cocktail stirrer and robot masseuse. To quote the man himself, defending the yacht he bought his wife while carrying $100 million in personal debt, it’s “difficult to turn off that lifestyle like a spigot.”
Lay found no problem with turning off California’s electricity supply like a spigot, however. Showing his concern for our dwindling resources, Lay struck a healthy balance by offsetting his own lavish spending with that of the numerous PG&E employees who no longer have any disposable income thanks to Enron.
But it may be Lay’s final bid to reduce his ecological footprint for which he will be most admired. While the media have generally portrayed Lay’s second-in-command, Jeff Skilling, as the true visionary of the company, that could turn out to be inaccurate, as latest reports indicate that dickwad is still alive.