A team of scientists from Conservation International, exploring the undersea depths off of Indonesia’s Papua province, has discovered dozens of new species, including a shrimp that looks like a praying mantis and a shark that walks on its fins. In a press statement Monday the team warned that the area, known as Bird’s Head Seascape, is in serious peril from fisherman who – Holy shit! Sharks that walk on their FINS! Walking sharks!
Dubbed Asia's “Coral Triangle,” it is home to more than 1,200 species of fish and almost 600 species of reef-building coral, or 75 percent of the world's known total. But the region's biodiversity faces threats from subsistence fishermen who use dynamite and cyanide, as well as a government plan to introduce commercial fishing along the coast. That has prompted Conservation International to call for the government to set up a series of marine parks around Bird's Head Seascape.
Of course they’re using dynamite. That's what they used to kill Jaws after he ate half their boat. They’re SHARKS THAT WALK ON THEIR FINS!!!
Just as Hollywood has responded to box office slumps and TV competish by concentrating all their resources on blockbuster tentpoles, Nature is dealing with increased threat from human activity by designing super-species with big audience appeal. Walking-shark spokesman Jabberjaw was quoted as saying, “This new shark is tracking really well with our target demographics, we’re confident we have a monster hit on our hands. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!”
If these conservation efforts prove successful, Nature has announced plans to introduce elephants that shoot bullets from their trunks and monkeys genetically predisposed to hold government office.