So, the day of reckoning for fans of the culinary avian holocaust known as foie gras will not come in the form of giant fifty-foot-tall mutant geese smashing apart chichi French eateries and gobbling up patrons, as I had always hoped. Nor will it be a race of alien geese-people visiting from a distant planet and abducting hundreds of the world’s gourmet chefs to force-feed them Twinkies until their stomachs explode for chef’s liver pate.
Instead, it is in the form of a little-known disease called amyloidosis, researchers announced on Monday. While abnormal protein fragments in the bloodstream may look really cool on a microscopic level, their outward appearance is that of someone getting fatigued and losing weight. Also possibly swelling. Not quite summer blockbuster material, but it can lead to kidney damage, heart trouble and dementia – which will hopefully be enough for hungry gourmands to reconsider ordering one of those ridiculously overpriced foie gras hot dogs.